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Adam and I connected online within days of creating our profiles.The dumb luck of finding each other still astounds us.He was one of the first men who contacted me and we were soon emailing daily, trying to suss out what the other was really after. I remember in one of his emails he said, in passing, “My family is very important to me (stop laughing).” I laughed, and felt sure that I’d like him when we met.What if this guy was looking for a way out of his marriage? We set up a date at a busy bar away from our usual haunts, both of us looking forward to it intensely and fearing disappointment. We quickly got past the initial nerves, and over the course of four hours of dinner, drinks and non-stop talking, we revealed more and more to each other. He got my lame jokes and didn’t agree with everything I said.

To my amazement, it worked, yet somehow their very obliviousness felt like a rebuke.In three subsequent email exchanges he talked me out of it, and we agreed to meet to clear the air.

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