Flooded with unremitting anxiety, a child’s brain has been shown to form fewer of the mental circuits needed to regulate emotional states.The awful irony is that children who most need to acquire the skill to soothe themselves and control their responses end up being the least well equipped to do so.Once you identify which category your “difficult” mother falls into, and take time to discover what is really going on in your relationship with her, you can learn not only to survive it, but how to manage it, and, in some cases, even turn it to your advantage.’Although no child likes it when a parent is angry, a single outburst does not produce a difficult relationship.It is only when a parent repeatedly uses anger to close conversations and control family members that it becomes a problem.
She knows that life doesn’t always go as planned and has learned how to make the best of it. Single moms can do it all, but are super-appreciative of a helping hand.
In Difficult Mothers, the Cambridge academic examines the different types of problem mother — controlling, angry, hyper-critical, emotionally unavailable — and explains what can be done to turn her negative influence into a positive one.
‘For most parents and their children, whatever the glitches, scuffles and conflicts, the relationship is largely comforting and supportive,’ she says.
She’s incredibly patient, but doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for bad behavior.
She’ll only keep you around if the relationship is a good thing for both her and her kids. But no matter how hard you try to please her, you will live under a constant cloud of disdain, regardless of your efforts.