Feeling slightly anxious, but in awe of her courage, I agreed. I saw how she respected me for loving her partner, but also how her inner child was afraid to lose the person she loves the most. All my conditioned beliefs about love and relationships spun around my head, leaving me dizzy but, to my surprise, also relieved.
We stood there for several minutes looking way further than just our eyeballs. Then she took my hand, squeezed it, and said thanks. I realized that I had finally found what I had been looking for: a love so pure and committed to growth that it sets everybody free.
No more words were spoken, but we exchanged what needed to be said with our eyes. Three times in my life, I had felt love for two men at the same time.
Iris walked back toward her car, and Peter joined her. I wanted to be with both of them, share my affection, tenderness, and passion. Huge dramas played out because my partners were convinced: “If you love more than one, it cannot be true love.” It’s a statement that sounds foreign to me today, but I believed it back then.
A love that sets us free is a new chance to embrace everything that we are with love and transcend our fears.
That’s also what I told Christophwhen we started dating after I came back home from Portugal.
But the tools the therapist suggested to make me decide didn’t work for me. Iris respected Peter’s love for me even though it brought up a lot of insecurities in her. And while they worked on their relationship, Iris treated me like a sister.
He needed someone to demonstrate tantric massage on, and I volunteered. But shortly after this, Iris experienced a breakthrough in which she realized that she really wanted to be with Peter despite their challenges.
It is the opportunity to experience true love that goes way beyond partnerships that are based on a false illusion of security.