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To say I felt extreme concern would be an understatement, but this was a tricky one. Her life had been ravaged by her illness, and at last she had achieved something exciting.

It didn’t occur to her that there might be anything alarming about this man’s history. Rather than putting a ban on her visit, I took a deep breath and said: ‘How lovely!

I was reminded of this encounter when I recently read how one in five parents admits plotting to get rid of a child’s boyfriend or girlfriend, by withholding messages, hiding mobiles, stirring up arguments or enforcing a ban.

I have learnt from experience that the quickest, most sure-fire way of seeing off someone you deem inappropriate for your teenager is to embrace them into the bosom of the family — and keep your feelings firmly hidden. By the time children reach secondary school, it can be counter-productive to tell them what to do.


To say I wanted him as far away from my daughter as possible would be an understatement.

Indeed, my own interfering didn’t stop with the end of Serena’s first relationship.

When she started her GCSEs, she met an admittedly charming boy.

” It’s the announcement every mother hopes she’s lucky enough to make. Let your daughter see how he fits in with your family. As Steve Martin so beautifully said in Father of the Bride, “you worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing …

The arrival of a baby girl signals endless hopes and dreams of a future filled with dress-up dolls, pigtails and plaits, netball games and school dances. ” It’s the announcement every mother hopes she’s lucky enough to NEVER make. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. Lamble says, “if you want to stay close to your adult child, it's important to accept their choices of partner …Confronting and forbidding contact will only drive them further into the arms of that work-shy youth with scant regard for obeying the law and a happy ambition to live off the taxpayer.



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