Level 1 Be Present To be mindful of your emotions without pushing them away is consistent with Linehan’s first level of validation, to be present.
To be present also means to ground yourself and not dissociate, daydream, suppress or numb your emotions. Feeling the pain of sadness, hurt, and fear is most challenging and difficult.
Level 4: Validating by History Sometimes you will have thoughts and feelings that are based on events that have happened in your past.
Maybe you are afraid when people argue because in the past arguments led to your being hurt.
Knowing how to self-validate is important to learning to manage your emotions effectively.
At the same time avoiding emotions results in quite negative consequences, while accepting allows emotions to pass and helps build resiliency.
Being present for yourself validates that you matter and that you have the strength to feel.
“I hated it when that happened to me.” – Try to one-up the person.
(shows interest) – Wow, she must have made you really angry. If you want a validating statement to feel “true” make it about the truth of the situation for the other person. When you make a validating statement you should not: – Make it about you.
Stating the facts of your experience is validating and helps build trust in your internal experience.