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Yes, focusing on what's inside is more important — but that's easier said than done.
In a society where there are ideals of femininity and masculinity, it can be difficult for individuals who don't fit neatly into those boxes.
Plus, navigating the world of dating is already a mess, so being on an extreme end of any physical spectrum doesn't exactly make it any easier.
I've even been in a couple of dating situations where people have thought I was kidding when I came out to them as trans.
So, contrary to popular belief, my dating life on the whole has actually been more successful after transition than it was before, as a cis gay man.
As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.
I've been told more than a few times that "there's no way I can tell you're trans," and that helps men feel comfortable dating me.
Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.And since I also have a wider frame, I've always felt a bit stockier than I'd like.