Jenn, 41, who came to non-monogamy as a single woman after she ended a miserable monogamous relationship and then met a man in an open marriage, found something similar.
“To be successful as a poly person, you have to be really open and honest with all of your partners, so it kind of forces you to discuss your feelings and thoughts more openly than monogamous relationships do.
I figured I could either keep seeing him and keep Tindering, or just keep Tindering.
So at that point I was like, hey, I guess I’m nonmonogamous. The dick is so bomb I gave up hundreds of years of entrenched social norms.” The first time I considered sleeping with a married man, I was 26 years old.
When I inquired with Jack, a single, gay 26-year-old, he confirmed that those exact competing interests are often points of contention in gay dating.
Now, you can do those things and be poly, but if you don’t want to do those things, I think being poly is a better fit than being monogamous.
The catch was that he was already married to an equally cool-seeming bisexual artist, with whom he had an open relationship.