Dating and ladylike

Three years ago, my husband Kris and I took our final step toward a longtime goal of embracing a location-independent lifestyle.

We sold most of our stuff, withdrew our daughters from elementary school, began unschooling, and traded in our landlocked life in the state of Georgia for a test-run at our dream life.

Most people will agree that the connotation of ladylikeness carries a tone of a woman who is virtuous and checklist appropriate in how she dresses and behaves.

Ladies don’t wear cut-off denim shorts, nor do they curse in public.


The popular American idiom of the ideal woman being when it’s time to satisfy her partner’s needs.

Toward the end of our interview, when we were exchanging hugs and finishing up our freshly-squeezed lemonade, she tilted her perfectly-afro’d head and said, in her beautiful sing-song island-woman accent, “Not to worry, I help turn girls into wonderful wives and perfect ladies.” or any of the other terms that lump behavior onto a particular group of people in an effort to reinforce dominant society’s assertion of what is considered desirable and acceptable social protocol.

As an adult woman, I don’t like the term , but I leave it up to each adult to decide what it means for them, and I make room for the varied nuances of the term, based on who I’m speaking to and what part of the world I’m in.

The plan was to spend at least four months on the island of Jamaica, where Kris and I were born and spent most of our childhoods.


A few weeks into our time on the island, we began interviewing tutors to help us make the transition from daily school structure into self-guided learning with adult assistance.I offer these points of examination because I am of the belief that women can also perpetuate sexist notions by playing into certain social rules.


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