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Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

Then they discovered the chat feature and started inviting friends and receiving requests…and that’s when “John” showed up.

This was a free game and I gave them permission to download it and play it on the i Pad.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.

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