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Unlike a gold digger, who marries for money, a pro-dater is not necessarily single or available in real life.Another variation is that the scammer insists they need to marry in order to inherit millions of dollars of gold left by a father, uncle, or grandfather.Narratives used to extract money from the victims of romantic scams include the following: Some romance scammers seek out a niche of various fetishes where they will find an obscure fetish and they will make the victim think that if they pay for the scammer's plane ticket, they will get to live out a sexual fantasy of theirs by having the scammer come to them to have sex.The scammers also like to entice victims to perform sexual acts on webcam.Letters are exchanged between the scammer and victim until the scammer feels they have groomed the victim enough to ask for money.This might be for requests for gas money or bus and airplane tickets to travel to visit the victim, medical expenses, education expenses etc.

The pro-dater differs from the other scams in method of operation; a face-to-face meeting actually does take place in the scammer's country but is devoted solely into manipulating the victim into spending as much money as possible in relatively little time, with little or nothing in return.Upon finding victims, scammers lure them to more private means of communication, (such as providing an e-mail address) to allow for fraud to occur.The fraud typically involves the scammer acting as if they've quickly fallen for the victim so that when they have the opportunity to ask for money, the victim at that time has become too emotionally involved, and will have deep feelings of guilt if they decline the request for money from the scammer.They tell their victims that they are lonely, supporting an orphanage with their own money, needing financial assistance because they can't access their own money in a combat zone, etc.

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The money is always sent to a third party to be collected for the scammer.

The victim contacts the scammer to ask what happened.

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