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The night was young and hot and promising of Russian oligarchs who could potentially sponsor my very own Boy bag, given that I was to remain mum about money and pretty much anything else.

As we walked over to the restaurant, my friends realized me that we had overlooked an important detail – apparently, one needed a special key to get in.

It dawned upon me that I was like the woman my friend had described in her email. In fact, I am the kind of person who can easily hijack all the oxygen in the room, immediately diminishing all chances of coming off as cold or “untouchable”.

Secondly, I like to ignore nail salons for extended time periods and have trouble conceptualizing outfits that do not revolve around jeans and black crewnecks.

Suddenly, we were 23 again, getting ready for a night of endless opportunities!

Twenty scrolls deep into Lena Perminova’s Instagram, I decided that, no matter what happened, I would go for a Power Barbie look that involved a very short skirt paired with a boxy blazer A tad on the risqué side but still in charge, Then Monday came along, bringing on a 80-degree heat wave that forced me to rethink my strategy.

Having spent dinnertime layering lip gloss, we were left with no choice but to make our way to the bar.

Tight black gear was pulled out of the backs of closets, Louboutins were dusted off after years of hiatus..A few weeks ago, a reader requested that I write a post on the dos and don’ts of dating Russian men.A reader’s wishes is normally my command, and yet this particular one presented a bit of a dilemma.Too hot for blazers or booties, I dug up a Dries Van Noten sample sale skirt that only fits me on leap days, pairing it with a lace camisole normally reserved for non-celibate sleeping – because what is a Monday night if a prime opportunity to wear your lingerie in public?

The already questionable chiffon and silk concoction was topped off by an old blazer with sheer sleeves that made me feel even more like the bottom of a Victoria’s Secret bargain bin.

It was like the Russian Man Whisperer had descended from the sky and awarded me with the Ten Commandments of seducing Slavic gentlemen.

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