19 21 dating professional dating advice

Sometimes the more you want a person, the more their sexual past bothers you.


It’s just been bothering me lately, but I’m working through it.

On the other hand, if they start feeling guilty about their past, then they didn’t deserve the beating you gave them.

They’re a person who really wants to make you happy and to be with you, and you feel bad for hurting them over something they can’t control now.

Keep that attitude and they’ll be able to help you through it and probably ease a lot of your concerns. You keep picturing your girlfriend/boyfriend having sex with some other person — doing all of the things you’ve waited to do for so long with somebody else, as if it’s nothing — and it’s like knives through your heart. But so much for that, because now they’re gone, and you’re faced with the prospect of dating somebody who was nowhere near as good as them and has a sexual history that is five times as bad. To some people who are waiting till marriage, the virginity-factor can be all-consuming when picking a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Jealousy, hurt, anger, wounded pride, injustice…all of those feelings are going to tear at you. Especially in the early stages of waiting till marriage, finding another virgin can be so important to you that once you compromise on it (i.e., by dating somebody who’s a non-virgin), it can become all you can see.

If you keep your head cool and look at this relationship calmly and rationally, you will see that it may not last forever, even though you may want it to. And then all of this stuff about sexual histories will seem kind of silly in retrospect.



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